worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
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