I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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