Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
then he tried to convert me to islam
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
