We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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