i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
