Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
