u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
