I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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