Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
