We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
