grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I want to be your penis for a week.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
