Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
