That's when you crack a 10am beer
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
