I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Randomize
