Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
