Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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