So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
