why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
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