If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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