Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
