The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
