Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
