hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Randomize
