don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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