Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
