this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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