wakey wakey hands off snakey
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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