i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
