so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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