Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
We named our party play list daddy issues
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
