Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
