My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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