Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Randomize
