discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
My day in three words: secret purse cake
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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