And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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