i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
