Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
