Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Randomize
