Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
