well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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