My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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