We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
