Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Randomize
