we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I need water and some morals
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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