Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
