i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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