Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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