The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
