I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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