just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
