Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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