Christians are straight up FREAKS
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
